It turns out eye contact is important for more that just falling in love. It actually soothes and grounds individuals who are in stress or distraught. I learned this lesson best when I was in massage school being trained on how to treat the sensitive and rarely touched obturator internus and externus muscles. They’re both found in the pelvic cavity and can only be reached by what appears to be a major pelvic or rectal violation by the therapist. We learned to always maintain eye contact with the client, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable of a position we needed to contort ourselves into while doing so. It makes a world of difference, even for massage students who as the clients were expecting the work. Eye contact during those massage sessions always puts the clients at ease and facilitated an immediate release of their muscles.

Reader’s Digest posted the following piece that describes some other scenarios when eye contact assists in soothing and destressing:

Next time you’re trying to settle down a distraught friend or loved one, say this: “Look at me!” Eye contact will quickly help her regain composure, says Mardi Kidwell, PhD, a communications professor at the University of New Hampshire. “When a person is sobbing or yelling, she may not interact rationally,” says Kidwell. Focusing on your gaze forces her to come back to reality; it’s very grounding.

Kidwell’s research examined how law-enforcement officials often successfully use eye contact to soothe distressed or hysterical suspects and emergency workers. “It’s the first step to listening and obeying–whether they know it consciously or not,” she says. The trick is to get into the person’s line of sight, tell her to take a deep breath, and don’t let her look away until she acknowledges your words.

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